For a relationship to function in the world…

‘If you value your life, you will not want to give it away.
You will not want to gamble it.
You have nothing to lose by taking time to see.
If this is really the person for you, they are not going to go away.
You can afford to take time.

For a relationship to function in the world, it must have a sufficient degree of compatibility.  That does not mean you are completely the same, of course not.
But you must have compatibility regarding your values, regarding your lifestyle, regarding your use of money, regarding how you look at work. Here you cannot rehabilitate anyone, for they are either ready or they are not.

They are either right, or they are not.  The relationship is going to work, or it does not.All this work that people do on their relationships is foolishness. It means the relationship does not work, and they are to keep trying to make it work. And they invest time and money and energy and sometimes a whole life into trying to make something work that really just does not work. They have no idea that if the relationship worked, they would not have to invest this kind of time.

Yes, there are corrections and learning to be done in being together. But if you are always working on a relationship, it does not work. Spare yourself this fundamental lesson in life that can occupy so much of your life to learn.You must find out the particulars of a person’s life to see if you can communicate, if you can share your values, if you can be together harmoniously.Sometimes people are attracted to people very different from themselves, but these relationships almost never are successful. They require too much adjustment, too much conflict, too much disparity and too much personal adjustment.

If you are with someone whose values are very different from yours, you will never be comfortable with them, and your being together will never be smooth and easy. This is not about falling in love.

You can fall in love with someone you can never be in a relationship with.
So infatuation or even recognition does not mean a relationship.

This is another great lesson of life.If you feel like you are going to fall in love with someone, hold yourself back, keep your eyes open.This is a very important learning and very necessary for you to become mature and wise.’

~ Marshall Summers